Now, this does not have to be the cliffhanger from Dallas -- it can and should be more subtle than that.
It could be just a line.
That's it, right there. The line right above where you are now -- a one sentence paragraph -- creates tension all by itself simply by disrupting flow. That's where you want something memorable, disturbing, thoughtful.
How about Becky and Robin? What was the simile about the boxes of paper clips? That they were all lined up -- just so -- like soldiers on a battlefield.
The tension started in two places in that phrase: 'just so' and 'soldiers on a battlefield'.
- 'Just so' -- Sure, I could've made it longer, explained about distance between the boxes or described how each box end matched the next one perfectly. But that would've been too long. “Just so” describes Robin’s anal compulsiveness without being wordy.
- 'Soldiers on the battlefield' -- Not only does this visual give you an idea of the kind of precision Robin demands, but the “battlefield” states in one word the atmosphere in that room.
The icing on the tension cake is a line you haven't seen yet:
Take Becky: When she learned that Robin had won the award she rightfully deserved, she lost it. Came unglued. Threw Robin’s staplers and boxes of paper clips -- the ones that were all lined up -- just so -- like soldiers on a battlefield.
She even wrote on the walls.
Now, by itself, wall writing isn't that big a deal. After all, you probably did it when you were a kid or during that stint as a graffiti artist in San Francisco.
So what makes it more? The fact that it follows the paragraph where Becky lost it, had a meltdown, when postal. And it makes you wonder just what she wrote. It creates tension because its behavior you don't expect from a rational adult.
Why?
Because society tells us that when an adult is angry and hurt writing on walls isn't acceptable. It's something a child would do and we can't be seen as having so little control.
Okay, now Becky’s a psychopath because she wrote on some walls. The reader will hold her breath on several levels with different emotions:
- Whoa! What a psycho = shock
- Whew! I'd never be like that = relief
- Wow! Wish I could unleash it all like she did = desire and envy
With 21 words, your direct-mail copy for Calm-All caused your reader want to order to make sure she never reacts like Becky did.
And when she's held her breath long enough, you let her go.
RELEASE
This is the point in a work of fiction where the writer lets go of the reader's throat and lets her come up for air. And it's the thing that keeps readers turning pages whether they are bound in a book or enclosed in an envelope.
